‘NRI marriages’, as generally understood, are between an Indian
woman from India and an Indian man residing in another country (thus
NRI – non-resident Indian), either as Indian citizen (when he would
legally be an ‘NRI’) or as citizen of that other country (when he would
legally be a PIO – person of Indian origin).
In the eagerness not to let go of such lucrative marriage offer, the
families totally ignores even the common cautions that are observed in
traditional matchmaking. They also ignore that in case of things going
wrong in an NRI marriage, the woman’s recourse to justice is greatly
constrained and complex. The aggravated risk in such marriage is the
woman is being ‘isolated’ far away from home in an alien land, facing
language constraints, communication problems, lack of proper
information about the local criminal justice, police and legal system.
The situation is worsened by lack of support network of friends and
family and monetary constraints which leaves the deserted wife
completely helpless and stranded.
Following are some of the typical instances of the issues that could
arise in NRI marriages
Woman married to an NRI who is abandoned even before being
taken by her husband to the foreign country of his residence.
Woman brutally battered, assaulted, abused both mentally and
physically, malnourished, confined and ill treated and forced to
flee or was forcibly sent back.
A quick engagement, followed by a massive wedding, a huge
dowry and a honeymoon, after which the NRI husband flies out of
India while the wife waits for her visa. The menace of
‘honeymoon brides’ is a big problem to deal with as over 20,000
brides have not seen their husbands after their honeymoon.
In some cases, the children were abducted or forcibly taken away
from the woman.
COMMON ISSUES IN NRI MARRIAGES
Following are some of the typical instances of the issues that could
arise in NRI marriages
Woman married to an NRI who is abandoned even before being
taken by her husband to the foreign country of his residence.
Woman brutally battered, assaulted, abused both mentally and
physically, malnourished, confined and ill treated and forced to
flee or was forcibly sent back.
A quick engagement, followed by a massive wedding, a huge
dowry and a honeymoon, after which the NRI husband flies out of
India while the wife waits for her visa. The menace of
‘honeymoon brides’ is a big problem to deal with as over 20,000
brides have not seen their husbands after their honeymoon.
In some cases, the children were abducted or forcibly taken away
from the woman.
Woman who reached the foreign country of her husband’s
residence and waited at the international airport there only to find
that her husband would not turn up at all.
Abandoned in the foreign country with absolutely no support or
means of sustenance or escape and without even the legal
permission to stay on in that country.
NRI husband was already married in the other country to another
woman
Husband had given false information on any or all of the
following: his job, immigration status, earning, property, marital
status and other material particulars, to con her into the marriage.
Husband, taking advantage of more lenient divorce grounds in
other legal systems, obtained ex-parte decree of divorce in the
foreign country through fraudulent representations and/or behind
her back, without her knowledge
Woman was denied maintenance in India on the pretext that the
marriage had already been dissolved by the court in another
country.
Woman who approached the court, either in India or in the other
country, for maintenance or divorce but repeatedly encountered
technical legal obstacles related to jurisdiction of courts, service
of notices or orders, or enforcement of orders or learnt of the
husband commencing simultaneous retaliatory legal proceeding
in the other country.
Do check the NRI groom’s personal information particulars
such as :
Marital status: if he is single, divorced, separated, Employment
details : qualification and post, salary, address of office, employer
and their credentials, Immigration status, type of visa, eligibility
to take spouse to the other country
Dos & Donts
Dos
Financial status, Properties said to be owned by him in India,
residence address, family background, Visa, passport. Voter or
alien registration card, Social security number.
Have regular and meaningful communication with the man and
his family over a period. Make sure that the two persons to be
married meet personally and interact freely and frankly in
comfortable atmosphere to make up their minds.
Insist on a registered marriage along with the religious marriage to
be solemnized in India with adequate proof like photographs etc.
Insist on keeping in touch with the bride even after the marriage on
phone and e-mail and through local friends and relatives and get
alert if at any point there is any reluctance or difficulty in this.
Equip the woman with knowledge of the laws of the foreign
country and the rights she enjoys there, especially against any
form of abuse or neglect, including domestic violence and if she
can get residence permit and other protections as a victim of
domestic violence or abuse.
Inform people you trust if you face domestic violence in any form -
physical, emotional, financial, and sexual. Keep a log of all acts of
violence you face.
Have a bank account in your exclusive name near your residence
that you can use in case of any emergency.
Keep a list of contact details of neighbors, friends, relatives,
husband’s employer, police, ambulance, and the Indian embassy
or high commission, if abroad.
Leave photocopies of all important documents including your
passport, visa, bank and property documents, marriage certificate
and other essential papers and phone numbers with parents or
other trustworthy people in India or abroad. In case they are
lost/forcibly taken away/mutilated/destroyed by or at the instance
of spouse or in-laws, the copies will come in handy; if possible,
keep a scanned soft copy with you and any person you trust so that
the same can be retrieved if necessary.o Try to keep a photocopy of husband’s personal details including
passport, visa, property details, license number, social security
number, voter or alien registration card, among others.
Do not take any decision in haste and do not get pressurized to do
so for any reason whatsoever.
Do not make matrimony a passage to greener pastures abroad by
falling prey to lucrative schemes to migrate to another country or
promises of getting green card through marriage.
Do not finalize marriage matters, without meeting the family or
over long distance, on phone or through e-mails.
Do not get pressurized in taking impulsive decisions of marriage
proposal with an NRI just because it appears too perfect to be true.
Do not negotiate your daughter’s marriage via a bureau, agent or
middleman or trust them blindly
In case matrimonial negotiations takes place via matrimonial
sites, verify the details and authenticity of particulars submitted
about the groom.
Do not finalize matters in secrecy – publishing the proposal
among the near and dear ones, friends and close relatives could
help you in getting vital information which you may not be able to
collect otherwise .
Do not agree on the marriage taking place in the foreign country
Do not be coerced into acceding to dowry or any other
unreasonable demand made by or on behalf of your husband in
order to end your desertion. Inform officials immediately if being
forced to do so.
Do not remain quiet, if faced with desertion or any other cruelty by
husband and/or in-laws whether in India or abroad. Approach the
authorities.
Donts
Do not forge/fabricate papers or legal documents for somehow
going abroad and do not become a party to illegal acts under
pressure, allurement or instigation from anyone.
Do not be forced into participating in legal action in country of
husband’s residence. You can file a case in India and cannot be
forced to defend a case filed against you by husband abroad -
especially divorce. India has more women-friendly laws than
many other countries.
Do not panic if your husband obtains divorce in the other country
with or without your knowledge since it is not valid in India. Its
valid in India only if you participate in that case.
Do not defame husband and/or in-laws without evidence as they
may slap a defamation case against you. Speak only the facts at the
right fora - before police/lawyer/social worker/court etc.
Do not be vindictive and take law in your hands. Never resort to
violence or any illegal act to settle scores with deserter husband
and/or in-laws. Approach government authorities in case of any
problem in the marriage. Do not file false/frivolous complaint.
